Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Peace at Christmas

It's past Christmas magic that I will hold closest to my heart as time marches on.

The big red, green, blue and yellow lights.

 Steady.

Bright.

Lighting up the little dingy living room that was ours.

 Bubble lights, bubbling away.  Hot.  Big.  Colorful.  Magical.

 The smell of Christmas.

Long pine needles simmering slowly in the festive heat of bright, steady reds and greens.

Toys.

New smells.  Dolls.

Dolls with several outfits and baby bottles that give an illussion of milk being drank by the baby when I'd hold up the bottle.

Watching.  As the fake milk disappears.

Feeling all motherly.  Knowing that my baby is full and satisfied.  Wrapping her tightly in her soft blanket and holding her close.  Smelling her new plastic smell.  Savoring that moment in time.

Wishing it would never end.

Joy and happiness everywhere.

Everyone laughing.  No worries.  Knee socks filled with hard tack candy.  An orange.  Some chocolate covered vanilla cremes and nuts of all kinds.  The sweet smell of Christmas all through the house.

 Laughter.

Fun.

Good times.

Believing.

Trusting.

When life's black and white's danced with  colors bright, Christmas Magic filled the air, and there was peace on my little corner of the earth.


Monday, December 21, 2015

Saving Christmas


The house is cold.  This little four room house gets that way after the fire dies.  "It's cold in here," I whisper to my husband as he sleeps soundly next to me.  I shake him and repeat, careful not to wake the boys in the other room.  Then I gather up my robe and pull it tightly around me and go into the living room.  It's dark with just a glimmer of light peeking around the bed sheets made into curtains that hang from the double living room windows.  It's Christmas morning.  I did not want to wake up, especially after a 2AM turn in the night before.  Playing Santa after the boys go to bed can be tiring.  And the excitement of it all!  Oh, how exciting this month leading up to Christmas has been!  

I plug in the Christmas lights and the little dark living room comes alive with color.  Presents are wrapped and lying beneath and around the tree.  Presents everywhere!  The boys had a real hard time finding sleep last night.  They tried hard.  But excitement filled their heads and sleep just would not come.  It was well after eleven before Santa and his helper found it safe to work their magic.  

Tree decorated-check.  Presents wrapped-check.  Cookies and milk removed-check.  Note written from Santa-check.  Candy canes placed on bed posts-check.  Everything perfectly in its place-check.  Santa, you are amazing!

The boys are still quiet in there and I am glad.  I peer out of our front kitchen window.  Lindy is awake.  Her decorations are alive and dancing towards our house.  She always faces them our way... for the boys to enjoy.  She's good like that.  I am sure she is over there enjoying her first cup of coffee.  I am excited for the morning to begin!

My table looks festive with the red table cloth and centerpiece.  I light the candle in the middle and put fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies on a plate along with million dollar fudge.  This, our tradition.  I hear Jack downstairs shaking the furnace coals and the house almost instantly feels warmer.  I check on the boys.

"Santa was here," Jackie whispers. 
"Wow!" I say.  "He sure was!"  You should see the living room!"  
He holds tight to his candy cane, but knows that the living room is off limits till the family arrives.  

I call Mom and her and Angie will be here soon.  Lindy knows too, that it's a go.  The house gets even warmer and the sun has completed its rise into the sky and it is now daylight.  Morning.  Soon Lindy, Gene and Mike enter the tiny kitchen bearing gifts.  Following them, Angie and Mom.  The men gather round the kitchen table and wait, hopeful for battery operated man toys to be unwrapped and tested.  All the rest excitedly gather round the tree.  The boys.  The chaos.  I hand out presents.  Mom sits on the couch enjoying cookies.  Sarcastic, funny remarks are made.  Jokes.  Laughing.  Excitement.  Happy times.  

"Just what I wanted!"
"Look what I got!"
"Wow!"
Ahhhhh ~ the boys on Christmas morning.  

My wish is to lasso a plan...  an invention...  one that can capture a memory and save it within its own self.  It's own reality.   for later.    So that when today is behind me and feelings of utopia have eluded me having been lost somewhere along the way, I can draw from this day.   But who can hope for days like this to last forever?  I can.  I can hope.  And though reality says these memories will be lost in time,  I savor each laugh.  Every joke.  The richness of family.  The warmth of happiness.  The love.  For one day.... all will grow cold.  And only frosted thoughts of yesterday will remain.